You can’t love someone while being afraid to lose them. Love & fear can’t coexist. Ego will always get in the way. Self love destroys the ego & allows you to give others love without attachment. Fear leads to dependency which is toxic for a relationship. Safety is an illusion. What’s driving you is fear; the fear of losing said person. The fear of being without said person. Even the bible says, perfect love drives out fear, he who fears is not made perfect in love. The thing about love is that it can only be lost in the physical. No matter the destruction we create for ourselves a deep bond never wavers. Separateness is an illusion in the mind, one the heart knows nothing of. Self love is a prerequisite for romantic love: if there is any part of you that feels unloved before getting in a relationship, you will unintentionally seek out partners who fill that void. That’s where attachment, neediness & codependency start to seep in.