When you give and give and give and give, you learn what it means to be drained. You learn what isn’t sustainable. You can find balance, you can give and be fed if reciprocity is what you truly want. Balance involves giving without expectation of something being given in return. But most importantly giving without giving your all. You have to allow room for them to love you in return.
When women don’t fight off unwanted sex with force, it is not because they are confused about what they want from the exchange, it is because they fear an escalation of violence. They “dead possum”, to avoid a wave of trauma they know is commencing. A clarification here: I’m not only referring to ‘freezing’ here when I say “dead possum”. I was also including the way out of fear we can have said no, be ignored, begin to feel the rape commencing, and then go along with it to keep it from becoming violent. Also, my sincerest apology to anyone whom I’ve triggered in expressing any of this. It was meant to be an earnest expression of what I have personally experienced and heard so much among other women. Thank you for sharing your hearts. The verbal communication of not wanting the sex through saying simply (even once) “no” or “I don’t want to” in any variation was implied in the initial message. I am not suggesting ever that someone should be able to read another person’s mind.
Y’all always perceive “rape” as holding someone against their will. But can we talk about the people who end up just “giving in” because they feel like it’ll have a better outcome than trying to fight it off? Can we talk about the people who feel guilty because they feel like they “put themselves in that position” even tho they went into a situation with innocent intentions and got taken advantage of? Can we talk about the people who still are in denial about them being sexually abused because they were under some kind of influence? Can we talk about the ones who went into it with the intentions of getting intimate, then discovering something that made them uncomfortable and change their minds? Can we talk about the guys who take it anyway because you’re a “tease” and “shouldn’t have came if you were gonna play”. Y’all aren’t alone. I love y’all and y’all deserve every ounce of love and respect. My dm’s & email stay open, feel free to chat. You do not have to call these things rape if you don’t want to. I believe that the term is very harsh and thrown around too much. But if you were ever coerced into sex, that is NOT OKAY!
P U S H I N G
M Y S E L F
T H R O U G H
C O M P L A C E N C Y
Sometimes people don’t love you. They think they do but they love that you’re able to fulfill their needs. People think it’s love but it becomes a transaction. Stop fulfilling their needs and then see how much they love you then.
God is not coming out the sky to save you. God is working through you to save yourself. Step into your power.