Emotional intelligence. Those who lack it see it as an oxymoron. Maybe a lot of men haven’t been taught how to practice emotional intelligence. But caring for others should make you curious to learn. If how another person feels, perceives your actions, expresses themselves, etc. Never crosses your mind, you don’t care about them. It’s not up to a grown woman to teach you, a grown man, how to be a considerate human being. Unless she’s a mother figure to you. And a mother figure is just that. Don’t impose that role on a friend or significant other. Do your own work yourself and come back when you are able and willing to meet someone halfway. Otherwise, care enough to let it go. But I guess being perceptive enough to assess yourself and take those steps requires a degree of emotional intelligence. It’s emotionally and sometimes physically draining to do the thinking for two people. It’s an undue burden but so many men expect it.
Parents will “protect” their daughters from men they allowed their son to grow up to be. We will always have to teach our daughters to be careful of men if we do not teach our sons how to treat women. While giving your daughter a crash course on “how to behave” in order to not be raped by men teach your sons about consent and they’re not entitled to a woman’s body!
Sidebar: People don’t want to teach accountability. They’d rather accept that people are evil and teach others to avoid them. Makes me sick.
When you give and give and give and give, you learn what it means to be drained. You learn what isn’t sustainable. You can find balance, you can give and be fed if reciprocity is what you truly want. Balance involves giving without expectation of something being given in return. But most importantly giving without giving your all. You have to allow room for them to love you in return.
When you pretend you don’t feel your feelings, you create conflict by blocking yourself from yourself. Do not create conflict within because it will create conflict everywhere else.
Attachment is poison to the heart. Learning to love without the need to be attached is challenging, yet rewarding and fulfilling of true loves destiny. Attachment is misery. Whenever we get our hearts broken the first thing we want to do is detach from the emotion, to get rid of the pain. There are several remedies to get over broke hearts but the one that works the most is time. Time is healing! Insecurity and jealousy is a form of attachment. Self love is the key to healing the broken spirits of the soul. Pain teaches you but only if you came to learn.