Don’t be the hurt person who hurts other hurt people because you’re hurt. You will do nothing but continue to repeat the same toxic cycles and add onto the pain that’s already there. Leave the pain with who hurt you and receive the love waiting for you from who chooses you.
When you give and give and give and give, you learn what it means to be drained. You learn what isn’t sustainable. You can find balance, you can give and be fed if reciprocity is what you truly want. Balance involves giving without expectation of something being given in return. But most importantly giving without giving your all. You have to allow room for them to love you in return.
When you pretend you don’t feel your feelings, you create conflict by blocking yourself from yourself. Do not create conflict within because it will create conflict everywhere else.
Sometimes seeking relationships with people before you’ve dealt with your destructive flaws will eventually be the reason why you part ways.
When women don’t fight off unwanted sex with force, it is not because they are confused about what they want from the exchange, it is because they fear an escalation of violence. They “dead possum”, to avoid a wave of trauma they know is commencing. A clarification here: I’m not only referring to ‘freezing’ here when I say “dead possum”. I was also including the way out of fear we can have said no, be ignored, begin to feel the rape commencing, and then go along with it to keep it from becoming violent. Also, my sincerest apology to anyone whom I’ve triggered in expressing any of this. It was meant to be an earnest expression of what I have personally experienced and heard so much among other women. Thank you for sharing your hearts. The verbal communication of not wanting the sex through saying simply (even once) “no” or “I don’t want to” in any variation was implied in the initial message. I am not suggesting ever that someone should be able to read another person’s mind.
Attachment is poison to the heart. Learning to love without the need to be attached is challenging, yet rewarding and fulfilling of true loves destiny. Attachment is misery. Whenever we get our hearts broken the first thing we want to do is detach from the emotion, to get rid of the pain. There are several remedies to get over broke hearts but the one that works the most is time. Time is healing! Insecurity and jealousy is a form of attachment. Self love is the key to healing the broken spirits of the soul. Pain teaches you but only if you came to learn.
Y’all always perceive “rape” as holding someone against their will. But can we talk about the people who end up just “giving in” because they feel like it’ll have a better outcome than trying to fight it off? Can we talk about the people who feel guilty because they feel like they “put themselves in that position” even tho they went into a situation with innocent intentions and got taken advantage of? Can we talk about the people who still are in denial about them being sexually abused because they were under some kind of influence? Can we talk about the ones who went into it with the intentions of getting intimate, then discovering something that made them uncomfortable and change their minds? Can we talk about the guys who take it anyway because you’re a “tease” and “shouldn’t have came if you were gonna play”. Y’all aren’t alone. I love y’all and y’all deserve every ounce of love and respect. My dm’s & email stay open, feel free to chat. You do not have to call these things rape if you don’t want to. I believe that the term is very harsh and thrown around too much. But if you were ever coerced into sex, that is NOT OKAY!